April 5th, live and in person

Live, and in-person are two different things, and April 5th is my mother's birthday.


LIVE is the Dr. Laura Berman radio show on the OWN network, beginning at 6 pm.


IN-PERSON in New York City is the Huffington Post's 'Moment I Knew' Meetup, hosted by Melissa Francis, CNBC anchor and "Divorce Wars" correspondent Where: Macao Trading Co., 311 Church St. (between Walker St. & Lispenard St.), New York, 10013 When: April 5th, 7 to 10 p.m. Cost: Free! Important: Please RSVP to divorce@huffingtonpost.com with the subject line "Moment I Knew Meetup RSVP NYC"

FREE food & drink for the first hour of the event!

Mobile Libris will be on-site, selling books by all author-performers.

Know yourself

Many people have written to me recently through this blog. I am sorry I haven’t been able to respond individually, but I have read every personal story and every note that has reached out to connect with me or with the topics in my memoir in a meaningful way.

Thank you.

There is a common thread in many of your letters. You are saying that we have a gut instinct, a personal “knowing” about who we are and what we need to live our lives, and too often, that doesn’t fit into the expectations of the society around us. We are not supported, and we struggle – sometimes against serious resistance – to believe in ourselves and trust ourselves. Sometimes we give up, deciding at last that society must be right: other people’s beliefs, decisions and rules are wiser and more valuable than our own. This is how we can come to see ourselves: that each of us, individually, is just one person, trying her best but no expert. No one special.

How can that be true?

Think about what we are saying to ourselves: Someone else knows who I am and what I need better than I do. Other people are wiser, stronger, better, more worthy than I am. 

How can that be true?

Future thoughts

A bit of wise advice:

"The point is not to fix anything.  The point is to create anew."

I think of this when I watch the radiation leaking into vast swathes of Japan and listen to the excuses, as if to say that, if we can blame this tragedy on incompetence or a freak occurrence or strange foreign ways we do not have to worry about the caged tiger in our own livingroom.

I think of this when I see the pictures of the dead baby dolphins washing upon our Gulf beaches and read that we "may never know why so many animals are dying."  No, in our oil-infused, dispersant-saturated waters, we may never know.

It is up to us to imagine a new relationship with our planet if we want to have a future on it.  Not in fear, but with care and clear vision.

Heart of a Woman

For anyone who missed the Heart of a Woman radio show and couldn't get it through the link I posted before, here is a better link.

It's an hour long discussion of everything which some people have been wishing for with the narrow focus on motherhood issues in some of the recent press.

Full Moon

Cleaning off my desk today for the full moon, I found this letter from a friend:

"Just for today remember that words are something you have inherited.  Lead with your desire to honor those who came before you.  Think of writing as an act of love.  Know that you are capable of a lot of love - in words, in silences, on and off the page.  But today, focus on how love affects what you write."

Coming up

An hour-long discussion of Hiroshima in the Morning, writing, Japan... on Heart of a Woman, Monday, 21st.

The Joy Behar Show, HLN/CNN, Monday, 21st, at 10 pm.

Daybreak, ITV (U.K. morning show) Thursday, 24th.

One to One, CUNY-TV,  Monday, 28th, 7 am, 1 pm, 11 pm; April 3rd, 9 am.  (Also streamed on YouTube)

The Gender Gap in Motherhood, The Huffington Post.

For an up to date list of appearances with links and videos, check the sidebar.

No More Hibakusha

From an editorial that went out through the Progressive Media Project:

"In August 1945 in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, 170,000 people were killed immediately, but the total number of “bomb-affected people” peaked around 380,000. These are people who may not even have appeared sick immediately, but have suffered high rates of cancer, blood disorders, fatigue and other ailments over a period of years. They were not all in the city centers when the bomb was dropped; some came in later to search for family members and help with rescue and cleanup.

"What we know about radiation exposure and its effects on living creatures comes from Japan. The fact that there is so much that is not common knowledge is also Japan’s legacy. After the bombs were dropped, pictures and video were censored, confiscated and classified, and news reports limited."

Read the whole article here. 
Find all my articles and essays in the sidebar.

All Eyes on Japan

Today, I am sending love and prayers to the people of Japan.  They suffered the only atomic bombs ever used in war, and are now facing the biggest nuclear disaster in peace.  Please join me.

The Gayle King Show

It was a pleasure to talk about motherhood, care-taking and women's choices on Gayle King's show today on OWN radio.  We didn't stop chatting for a moment, even through the commercials!

Thank you

Thank you everyone who has reached out to me recently.  I wish I could respond to each comment individually.  Your stories range widely, but I am most grateful to you who have taken the time to detail your own experiences and thoughts about motherhood and womanhood and the variety of choices we make.  I firmly believe it is important for us to find a place where one size does not have to fit all, and to formulate our families however we need to to make sure the kids are loved, supported, healthy and whole, and that the adults are too. 

We are all unique.  It's a big world.  And with the reality that half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, in the face of that personal struggle and sadness, we need to be allowed to find the best way forward for all concerned.

When Hiroshima in the Morning first came out, people everywhere gave me their stories, at readings, in taxi cabs.  You are still sharing.  Thank you.

What is a mother?

From my article today on Salon:

"The question I am always asked is, "How could you leave your children?" How could you be the mother who walks away? As if my children were embedded inside me, even years after birth, and had to be surgically removed? As if I abandoned them on a desert island, amid flaming airplane debris and got into the lifeboat alone?"

Read the whole essay here.